Hidden Gifts

One of my friends who does not know me very well yet, asked me if I get upset about my situation.  She said that every time she sees me I always seem so happy and put together. That my friends, is what this post is about.  Yes, there are times when I get upset about my situation especially when people see me and think I can't do something based on what they see or think about me.  Like when people do things behind my back because they think I am not smart enough to figure out what they are doing.  

I also have a very difficult time with transitions. For example,  when I went from middle school to high school or high school to college or the decision to live on my own.  Every time I went through one of these changes I was faced with the reality that I would have to do these things differently than everyone else around me and to this day,  I guess that is why I don't like change.

When I was a teenager, I often thought to myself, wouldn't it be easier if I could go through life with out CP? Today my answer to this is yes it probably would be easier not to have CP. I wouldn't have to have someone help me in the bathroom or with anything physical for that matter, but the question here is, would I be as patient as I am?  Would I be as understanding as I am?  Would I be as creative as I am?  Would I work to advocate for people with disabilities?  Would I be a dancer?  Would I be a public speaker?  Would I make other people laugh?  Since I don't know the answer to any of these questions I am happy to stay the way I am.  I do not want to be cured.  Look at all of the qualities I might not have if I were not exactly as I am. I am a firm believer that everyone with a disability was given one for a reason. I believe that part of my purpose is to help teach other people that underneath my challenges I have hidden gifts and talents just like they do and I want to live a good life too.  

One of the hardest things about living on my own is having to negotiate with all of my assistant's personalities.  The other day I was able to use one of my hidden gifts and it felt incredible.  I was able to make one of my assistants laugh which meant a lot to me because for whatever reason, she doesn't usually laugh or smile.  So in honor of March being CP Awareness Month,  embrace your hidden gifts and use them to your advantage and when you wear green for St. Patrick's Day please remember that the green you are wearing is also for people with CP.

Thank you

Proud to have CP.

-Jessi

Questions...

A lot of you know the reason why I like to write but a lot of you still ask me how I do it. For me writing my blog is a process,  but I wouldn't change it for the world.  It is a three step process.  The first step is making sure I have an interesting topic for you, the readers.  It is probably the easiest part for me but sometimes I do get writer's block.  Yes my friends it does exist!

The second step is probably the most interesting for you and the one that takes the most patience, time and energy.  It is actually writing what you see each month.  You see I can only type using my left pointer finger.  So, I use a program called Co:Writer it predicts the words I am trying to type giving me four choices at a time with verbal feedback.  Even this takes a long time and therefore I very rarely finish a post in one day and if I do,  it is usually on a day where I don't have much else going on.  Sometimes I will have someone write what I  want to say on a piece of paper before I type it but usually it comes straight from my mind.  

When I do it in one sitting it can take up to three hours!

The third step in the process is sending the blog to my mom and/or brother for editing.  I would suggest this step to anyone who wants to start a blog of their own.  Do not send a post without someone you trust looking at it first because you never know who's going to read it.

Another question people ask me is if it ever bothers me to be in the Children Shows and/or classes at MOMENTA.   My answer is this.  Sometimes I get a little upset because  I feel that dancing with the younger dancers does not really give me the opportunity to show my real capability as a dancer.  However, most of the time that really doesn't bother me because I know that by me just being in the show with the younger dancers teaches them from a very young age about inclusion and that Everyone Can Dance.  This means a lot to me.  Yet, in my weekly classes I do not feel an age difference at all.  Once we hit the dance floor age goes out the window and we are just dancers it is a wonderful thing. 

Happy leap year!

Love-

Jessi